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The table shows a breakdown of different types of families who were living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

The table shows a breakdown of different types of families who were living in poverty in Australia in 1999. bbKGX
It is noticeable that 11% of people were living in poverty. However, this figure was considerably high among the sole parents and single people who did not have children and those percentages were 21% and 19% respectively. Moreover, this proportion was significantly prominent among the couples who had children compared with the family structures consisted with couples who did not have children. In fact, the proportion of couples with children living in poverty was 5% more than that in the family types consisted only with couples. In contrast, this trend favoured aged people. However, this figure was slightly more (2%) among the single aged people than that in the family category of aged couples. In conclusion, it is clear that the proportion of people living in poverty varied according to their family structures.
It is noticeable that 11% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were living in poverty.
However
, this figure was
considerably
high among the sole parents and single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and those percentages were 21% and 19%
respectively
.
Moreover
, this proportion was
significantly
prominent among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
who had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
compared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structures consisted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
who did not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In fact, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
living in poverty was 5% more than that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
types consisted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
.
In contrast
, this trend
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, this figure was
slightly
more (2%) among the single aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
category of aged couples.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in poverty varied according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structures.
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IELTS academic The table shows a breakdown of different types of families who were living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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