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The bar chart below shows the leisure activities of Australian kids (boys and girls ) in all the 8 days what they are doing. Write a report, decreasing the information shown.

The bar chart below shows the leisure activities of Australian kids (boys and girls ) in all the 8 days what they are doing. Write a report, decreasing the information shown. oEYAw
The given bar chart depicts the information about how many distinct types of non academic activities done by Australians kids aged 5-14 in 2011. According to the bar graph, 22 to 90% of Australian kinders favoured to use skate boarding that cumulatively happened near 2011. Further, approximately three quarters of boys opted for bike riding. On the contrary, girls preferred less to travel by bike and the figure was 50%. On the other hand, both genders were equally showed interest to watch television or videos. Infact, again the figure of girls showed negligible difference that is 50 to 60% of girls kids chose to do art and craft or computer games. Nevertheless, 118% of boys were doing the same activities in his spare time like electronic or computer games (80%), art and craft (38%). In conclusion it is clearly describe that the majority of Australian boys and girls kids watched television and as well as boys spent their spare time on bike riding, whereas very tiny fraction of both genders chose skate boarding.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart depicts the information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
distinct types of
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non academic
activities done by Australians kids aged 5-14 in 2011.

According to the bar graph, 22 to 90% of Australian
Possible spelling mistake found.
kinders
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
skate boarding that
cumulatively
happened near 2011.
Further
, approximately three quarters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
opted for bike riding.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
preferred less to travel by bike and the figure was 50%.

On the other hand
, both genders were
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television or videos.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
, again the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
negligible difference
that is
50 to 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
kids chose to do art and craft or computer games.
Nevertheless
, 118% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
were doing the same activities in his spare time like electronic or computer games (80%), art and craft (38%).

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, it".
conclusion it
is
clearly
Consider using a past participle here: "described".
describe
that the majority of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
television and
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
spent their spare time on bike riding, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tiny fraction of both genders chose skate boarding.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the leisure activities of Australian kids (boys and girls ) in all the 8 days what they are doing. Write a report, decreasing the information shown.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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