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The table showed proportion of people suffering from poverty in Australia in 1999 based on family type

The table showed proportion of people suffering from poverty in Australia in 1999 based on family type q03JD
The percentage of people living in poverty in Australia has been categorised into different family types in the year 1999 and mentioned in the table. Overall the percentage of poverty varies according to the type of family. Analysing the data, sole parents accounted the highest percent which was followed buy single or non children family type. Furthermore, around 12 percentage of couples with children also suffered from poverty. And then, 7 percentage of couple with lack of children suffered from poverty in the year 1999. To continue, aged couple was the family which suffered the least with poverty. whereas, 6% of single aged person also tolerated with insufficiency. Hence, soul parents where the group more struggled with poverty, while aged couple suffered the least.
The
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percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in
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poverty
in Australia has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
family types in the year 1999 and mentioned in the table.
Overall
the
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
varies according to the type of family.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the data, sole parents accounted the highest percent which
was followed
Did you mean "by" or "to buy"?
buy
single or non children family type.
Furthermore
, around 12
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percentage
of
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couples
with children
also
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suffered
from
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poverty
. And then, 7
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
with lack of children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffered
from
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poverty
in the year 1999.

To continue, aged
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couple
was the family which
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suffered
the least with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, 6% of single aged person
also
tolerated with insufficiency.

Hence
, soul parents where the group more struggled with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, while aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffered
the least.
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IELTS academic The table showed proportion of people suffering from poverty in Australia in 1999 based on family type

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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