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The line graph illustrates the percentage of old people in three countries USA, Sweden, Japan from 1940 to 2040.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of old people in three countries USA, Sweden, Japan from 1940 to 2040. yx19J
The line graph illustrates the percentage of old people in three countries USA, Sweden, Japan from 1940 to 2040. In general, the proportion of elderly people in each country between 1940 and 2040 there is trend an increase. A suddent jump was seen in Japan. In 1940, about 9 % of Americans were aged 65 years and over, while swedish people around 6 % and 5 % japanese people. Over the following fifty years, the figure for elderly people in USA and Sweden gradual rise about 15 %, followed by a slight fall in the proportion of old people in Japan below 5% in 1990. Look into the future, Japan experience sudden increase in the percentage of aged 65 years and over around 27 % in 2040, wheares USA and Asweden will be slightly lower, at about 23 % and 24 % respectively.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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people
in three countries USA, Sweden, Japan from 1940 to 2040.

In general
, the proportion of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in each country between 1940 and 2040 there is trend an increase. A
Possible spelling mistake found.
suddent
jump was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Japan.

In 1940, about 9 % of Americans
were aged
65 years and over, while
Possible spelling mistake found.
swedish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around 6 % and 5 %
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Over the following fifty years, the figure for elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Sweden gradual rise about 15 %, followed by a slight fall in the proportion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Japan below 5% in 1990.

Look into the future, Japan experience sudden increase in the percentage of aged 65 years and over around 27 % in 2040,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheares
USA and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asweden
will be
slightly
lower, at about 23 % and 24 %
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the percentage of old people in three countries USA, Sweden, Japan from 1940 to 2040.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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