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Positive or negative development?

Positive or negative development? MrOVk
Nowadays the internet is developing very well and it can be beneficial everyone. Many universities are proffer their online lessons for learners. Although, others claim that it is a negative statement i personally believe that the advantages of online learning outweight it is disadvantages. On the one hand, others opine that Young learners can not feel the responsibility of study for instance, when students are while learning online, other social media can be disturbing. Moreover learners can not meet their group mates it is more fun, spend time with friends as well as learn in a one group. On the other hand, there are a lot of positive sites of learning in distance. A good illustration of this is students have more flexible time for them selves they can study at any time they want. Furthermore for the people who have financial difficulties also have opportunity to study. In other words they do not pay out money on daily expenses. In conclusion, with the study online. i tend to education online, as well as it is facilities for the learners
Nowadays the internet is developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well and it can be beneficial everyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
universities are proffer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
lessons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, others claim that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
statement
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
it is disadvantages. On the one hand, others opine that Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
can not feel the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for instance
, when students are while learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social media can be disturbing.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their group mates it is more fun, spend time with friends
as well
as learn in a one group. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sites of learning in distance. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is students have more flexible time for
Did you mean "themselves"?
them selves
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at any time they want.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have financial difficulties
also
have opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words they do not pay out money on daily expenses.
In conclusion
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
tend to education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
as well
as it is facilities for the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
learners
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IELTS academic Positive or negative development?

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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