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The table show the number of table watch sports on television

The table show the number of table watch sports on television q0DRd
The table illustrates the number of people in million who watch sports on television. It shows the proportion of viewer for four sports: tennis, golf, motor racing and athletics from four different countries. It can be seen from the table more people in USA watch sports than other three nationalities. Tennis is the most popular sports with the amount of people is nearly 26 millions and USA reached a peak at 7 millions. Not many people absolutely dislike viewing motor racing on television compared to the other sports. It has only 1. 5 and 1. 1 millions in USA and Canada but it is more prominent in the UK and Australia. Golf is perfectly attractive with people in USA with 11. 2 millions viewers which is the highest number in the table statics but it is not popular with other three countries: Canada, the UK and Australia. All in all, the table has described clearly the number of people watch sports on television from many countries.
The
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table
illustrates the number of
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people
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
who
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watch
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sports
on television. It
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shows
the proportion of viewer for four
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sports
: tennis, golf, motor racing and athletics from four
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different
countries.

It can be
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seen
from the
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table
more
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people
in USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
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sports
than other three nationalities. Tennis is the most popular
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sports
with the amount of
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people
is
nearly
26
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millions
and USA reached a peak at 7
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millions
. Not
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many
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people
absolutely
dislike viewing motor racing on television compared to the other
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sports
. It has
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only
1. 5 and 1. 1
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millions
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Canada
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but
it is more prominent in the UK and Australia. Golf is
perfectly
attractive with
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people
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
with 11. 2
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millions
viewers which is the highest number in the
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table
statics
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but
it is not popular with other three countries: Canada, the UK and Australia. All in all, the
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table
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
clearly
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on television from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

IELTS academic The table show the number of table watch sports on television

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
166 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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