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the table show the amount of money given in aid of technology

the table show the amount of money given in aid of technology pLlY9
The given table illustrates how much money was given to underdeveloped nations by the USA, European countries and other countries in each separate years from 2006 to 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the USA was the biggest contributor to economically developing countries in all measured years. In addition, the total money developing nations received from these both countries also increased from 2006 to 2010. Looking at the table in more detail, in 2006, the USA gave over three times as much as money to developing countries as European countries and other countries. The USA gave a donation of $9. 8 million while European countries and other countries donated $3. 1 million and $2. 8 million respectively. All countries increased their donations to emergent nations over the following two years, reaching a total of $24. 4 million in 2008. In 2009 however, the donations from all countries witnessed a slightly dip to a total figure of $23. 5 million. However, a significant rise in the figure of the money contributing to the developing countries was recorded in 2010, with a total figure of $28. 1 million. Of this, the USA donated $20. 3 million, while European and other countries gave $4. 1 and $3. 7 million respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates how much
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money
was
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given
to underdeveloped nations by the USA, European
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countries
and
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other
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countries
in each separate years from 2006 to 2010.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the USA was the biggest contributor to
economically
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developing
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countries
in all measured years.
In addition
, the
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total
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money
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developing
nations received from these both
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countries
also
increased from 2006 to 2010.

Looking at the table in more detail, in 2006, the USA gave over three times as much as
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money
to
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developing
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countries
as European
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countries
and
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other
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countries
. The USA gave a donation of $9. 8
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million
while European
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countries
and
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other
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countries
donated $3. 1
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million
and $2. 8
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million
respectively
. All
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countries
increased their donations to emergent nations over the following two years, reaching a
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total
of $24. 4
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million
in 2008.

In 2009
however
, the donations from all
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countries
witnessed a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('dip') instead of another adjective.
slightly dip
to a
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total
figure of $23. 5
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million
.
However
, a significant rise in the figure of the
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money
contributing to the
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
was recorded
in 2010, with a
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total
figure of $28. 1
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million
. Of this, the USA donated $20. 3
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million
, while European and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
gave $4. 1 and $3. 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the table show the amount of money given in aid of technology

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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