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The table reveal how much time people devote to several Internet activities in 2007 and 2009.

The table reveal how much time people devote to several Internet activities in 2007 and 2009. GLjDe
The table reveal how much time people devote to several Internet activities in 2007 and 2009. Overall, there was a dramatic change in the amount of time distributed to social networking, watching videos, E-mailing, Instant messaging and downloading music while the rest of categories witnessed a steadiness during the 2007-2009 period. It is also worth noticing that social networking was the most popular choice in 2009. In 2007, the amount of time allocated to E-mailing (16%) was the largest among eight activities in the survey, which was 2% higher than that of social networking. At the same time, people spend 11% of their time on Instant messaging, as opposed to the less significant figure for watching videos (10%). There was an equal distribution in the percentage of time devoted to downloading music and researching information with 4% for each activities. Meanwhile, the proportion of time allocated to online baking, which was represented 3%, was slightly higher than that of accessing news in 2007. There was an enormous increase in the amount of time distributed to social networking from 14% to 24% between 2007 and 2009. Meanwhile, the 2-years period witnessed a modest decline of 7% and 5% in the rate of time spent on E-mailing and Instant massaging accordingly. A mild growth ( of 1%) was seen in the percentage of time devoted to both watching videos and downloading music in the same period. The amount of time allocated to three remaining activities experienced a plateau at 4%, 3% and 2% in the 2007-2009 period.
The table reveal how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
devote to several Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in 2007 and 2009.
Overall
, there was a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
distributed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking, watching videos, E-mailing, Instant messaging and downloading music while the rest of categories witnessed a steadiness during the 2007-2009
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. It is
also
worth noticing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking was the most popular choice in 2009.

In 2007, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocated to E-mailing (16%) was the largest among eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the survey, which was 2% higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend 11% of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on Instant messaging, as opposed to the less significant figure for watching videos (10%). There was an equal distribution in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
devoted to downloading music and researching information with 4% for each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "activity"?
activities
. Meanwhile, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocated to online baking, which
was represented
3%, was
slightly
higher than that of accessing news in 2007.

There was an enormous increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
distributed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking from 14% to 24% between 2007 and 2009. Meanwhile, the 2-years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
witnessed a modest decline of 7% and 5% in the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on E-mailing and Instant massaging
accordingly
. A mild growth
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
of 1%) was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
devoted to both watching videos and downloading music in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocated to three remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
experienced a plateau at 4%, 3% and 2% in the 2007-2009
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.

IELTS academic The table reveal how much time people devote to several Internet activities in 2007 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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