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The process showing how bottled and canned carbonated water is made

The process showing how bottled and canned carbonated water is made lXbPb
This picture highlights how bottled and canned carbonated water is made. There are 5 stages in the diagram from water cleaning to packaging. First of all, water is filtered and then water softener, chemicals are added. At this point, water is pumped. After water is gone cooling pipe, all of them are fell into container and added carbon dioxide. Once carbonated water has been gone through the tube, liquid is spilled into mixing tank, then colour, syrup and flavour are added. After filtering stage, liquid is bottled and cans are filled. After the bottling and filling stage, bottles and cans are packed into boxes. When boxes have been loaded onto lorry, then they are taken to supermarkets. After all these stages, clients can buy bottled and canned carbonated water, then they can drink and enjoy.
This picture highlights how bottled and canned carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is made
. There are 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
in the diagram from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cleaning to packaging.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is filtered
and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
softener, chemicals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
. At this point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is gone
cooling pipe, all of them are fell into container and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
carbon dioxide. Once carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has
been gone
through the tube, liquid
is spilled
into mixing tank, then
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, syrup and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.

After filtering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, liquid
is bottled
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are filled
. After the bottling and filling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, bottles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are packed
into boxes. When boxes have
been loaded
onto lorry, then they
are taken
to supermarkets.
After all
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
, clients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
bottled and canned carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, then they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
drink and enjoy.
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IELTS academic The process showing how bottled and canned carbonated water is made

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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