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The table provides information about the Scottish people (younger and older) they participation taken in a variety of cultural activities over a year.

The table provides information about the Scottish people (younger and older) they participation taken in a variety of cultural activities over a year. YLyyj
The table provides information about the Scottish people (younger and older) they participation taken in a variety of cultural activities over a year. Overall, the table compare the different ages participation in cultural activity. When all ages are combined, it is obvious that performance art and craft were the most popular choices. Computer-based activities less frequented both in individual age group. Younger age group most likely creative activities such as visual arts (30%) and performance arts including singing, dancing, playing music, and acting (35%). On the other side the age group less participation rate of only (11%) and (17%) in the respective activities. The old age group was most likely to undertake the craft (22%), and make the most cultural purchases (18%). Computer based and writing young age group not most like (10%) and (17%). In contrast old age group less likely do activities.
The table provides information about the Scottish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(younger and older)
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they participation
taken in a variety of cultural
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activities
over a year.

Overall
, the table compare the
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different
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "ages'" or "age's"?
ages
participation in cultural
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activity
. When all
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ages
are combined
, it is obvious that performance art and craft were the most popular choices. Computer-based
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activities
less frequented both in individual
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age
group.

Younger
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age
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group
most likely creative
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activities
such as visual arts (30%) and performance arts including singing, dancing, playing music, and acting (35%). On the other side the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
less participation rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
(11%) and (17%) in the respective activities.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was most likely to undertake the craft (22%), and
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make
the most cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
(18%). Computer based and writing young
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age
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group
not most like (10%) and (17%). In
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contrast
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
less likely do
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activities
.
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IELTS academic The table provides information about the Scottish people (younger and older) they participation taken in a variety of cultural activities over a year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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