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The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017.

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017. DlVoa
The provided table chart illustrates that student enrollments in five categories in University of Manchester in 1937, 1967 and 2017. It is clear from the graph that the number of registered had increases significantly, while the figure of people who lived in near 40 miles and came from abroad had decrees and increase, respectively. In 1937 the student enrollment was only 327 while in 2017 it had 20-fold upgrade. In addition the portion of students came from overseas in three years the variable increased to 32 percent and from 4 countries reached to 102. On the contrary the percentage of register came from within 40 miles of Manchester had an impressive reduced from 55 percent to close to zero. The number of female students who enrolled 1937 to 1967 declined by 10 percent while in 2017 raised to 55 percent. Furthermore the figure of male stunts who registered 1937 to 1967 increased 10 percent but in 2017 felled to 45 percent.
The provided table chart illustrates that
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student
enrollments in five categories in University of Manchester in 1937, 1967 and 2017.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the number of registered had increases
significantly
, while the figure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in near
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
40 miles
and came from abroad had decrees and increase,
respectively
.

In 1937 the
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student
enrollment was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
327 while in 2017 it had

20-fold upgrade. In
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addition
the portion of
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students
came from overseas in three years the variable increased to 32
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percent
and from 4 countries reached to 102.
On the contrary
the percentage of register came from within
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
40 miles
of Manchester had an impressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from 55
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percent
to close to zero.

The number of female
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students
who enrolled 1937 to 1967 declined by 10
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percent
while in 2017 raised to 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the figure of male stunts who registered 1937 to 1967 increased 10
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percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2017 felled to 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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