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The table gives information about the number of people working as researchers in technology per million people in five countries. v.1

The table gives information about the number of people working as researchers in technology per million people in five countries. v. 1
The table data compares the number of tech researchers per million population in five countries in five successive years commencing from 2003. Overall, Poland had a greater number of researchers per million citizens in technology while Togo had the least. Getting back to the details, Turkey had slightly less than 50 technology-related researchers in 2003 per million of its population which moderately increased each year and reached to over 100 in 2007. Poland had the largest proportion of tech researchers among these countries and 285 Polish were tech researchers per million people in 2003. However, over the time this number declined continuously and after 4 years it stood at 226 per million. Despite the drop, the ratio of researchers in Poland in 2007 was the highest and roughly double than that of Moldova and Tukey. Mexican tech researchers’ ratio in 2003 was 147 per million which increased to 242 two years later and dropped to 113 in 2007. Moldova had 103 of these professionals per million and in 4 years, this proportion reached to 114 with a decrease in the previous three years. The lowest ratio of tech researchers was in Togo where only 18 such professionals existed in 2003 in every million population and remained the same in 2007.
The table data compares the number of tech
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researchers
per
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million
population in five countries in five successive years commencing from 2003.
Overall
, Poland had a greater number of
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researchers
per
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million
citizens in technology while Togo had the least.

Getting back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, Turkey had
slightly
less than 50 technology-related
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researchers
in 2003 per
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million
of its population which
moderately
increased each
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year
and reached to over 100 in 2007. Poland had the largest proportion of tech
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researchers
among these countries and 285 Polish were tech
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researchers
per
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2003.
However
, over the time this number declined
continuously
and after 4 years it stood at 226 per
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million
. Despite the drop, the ratio of
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researchers
in Poland in 2007 was the highest and roughly
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than that of Moldova and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tukey
. Mexican tech
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researchers’
ratio in 2003 was 147 per
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million
which increased to 242 two years later and dropped to 113 in 2007. Moldova had 103 of these professionals per
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million
and in 4 years, this proportion reached to 114 with a decrease in the previous three years. The lowest ratio of tech
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researchers
was in Togo where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
18 such professionals existed in 2003 in every
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million
population and remained the same in 2007.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS academic The table gives information about the number of people working as researchers in technology per million people in five countries. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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