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The table gives information about management positions held by women in four industries in 2006

The table gives information about management positions held by women in four industries in 2006 KGBqw
The provided table illustrates the data on the percentage of women holding management positions in four distinguished fields in the year 2016. Overall, it is clear from the data that managers accounted for the biggest figure in administration positions. On the other hand, the CEOs had the lowest percentage in the table. According to the table, there were 33, 14% of females who took managers in hospitality compared to the rate of females held the role of managers in manufacturing at 9%. It is also noticeable that the proportion of executives and CEOs by female in hospitality were at about 20%, they were just over 10 times higher than the percentage of females held the role of executives and CEOs in manufacturing. It can be seen that both finance and IT experienced 16% of women in management roles. However, in comparison with the proportion of women who work as CEOs in finance and IT, it was around 3 times lower than the rate of female held executives positions from both industries.
The provided table illustrates the data on the percentage of women holding management positions in four distinguished fields in the year 2016.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the data that managers accounted for the biggest figure in administration positions.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEOs
had the lowest percentage in the table.

According to the table, there were 33, 14% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
who took managers in hospitality compared to the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
held the role of managers in manufacturing at 9%. It is
also
noticeable that the proportion of executives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEOs
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
in hospitality were at about 20%, they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10 times higher than the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
held the role of executives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEOs
in manufacturing.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both finance and IT experienced 16% of women in management roles.
However
,
in comparison
with the proportion of women who work as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEOs
in finance and IT, it was around 3 times lower than the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
held executives positions from both industries.
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IELTS academic The table gives information about management positions held by women in four industries in 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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