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The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011. :small_orange_diamond:Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011. : small_orange_diamond: 9r6bj
The table compares data for two kinds of stores in terms of four features in Australia by the year of 2011. In a first look at the table, it is clear that online stores were much more famous in terms of numbers of businesses but there wasn’t much percent difference for Growth. The number of businesses displayed the highest of online shops for 368, which was 301 time more than department stores. Moreover, internet shops could earn more Profit (AUD) than department with 57 more numbers than window stores respectively 863-807. Finally Sales Revenue (AUD) was 12700 for department and 13400 for the online shops that demonstrate online shops were more popular and people prefer to buy online. The growth of department stores was increased 2% for online shops in the same year. Fereshteh Safarkhani (AC)
The table compares data for two kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in terms of four features in Australia by the year of 2011. In a
first
look at the table, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
were much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in terms of numbers of businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there wasn’t much percent difference for Growth.

The number of businesses displayed the highest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
for 368, which was 301 time more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
Moreover
, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
could earn more Profit (AUD) than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
with 57 more numbers than window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
respectively
863-807.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
Sales Revenue (AUD) was 12700 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
and 13400 for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
that demonstrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
were more popular and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
was increased
2% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the same year.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Fereshteh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Safarkhani
(AC)
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IELTS academic The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011. : small_orange_diamond:

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011. :small_orange_diamond:Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant