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The pie charts show the percentages of agricultural production in two regions

The pie charts show the percentages of agricultural production in two regions rYaBp
The pie chart compares the Eastern Region and the Western Region of a country in terms of production in agriculture. It is noticeable that each area concentrates on different products. The Eastern Region has a slightly more even distribution among products than the Western Region does. In the Eastern Region, the top two products are meat, making up 35% of total agricultural production, and dairy, making up 30% of the total. While meat contributes the same propotion, the percentage of dairy in the Western Region halves that in the Eastern Region. In the Western Region, grain is the most significant part of the chart, accouting for 45%, which is three times higher than that in the Eastern Region. By contrast, vegetables is the smallest segment in total production, with only 5%, whereas it is recorded 20% in the Eastern Region.
The pie chart compares the Eastern
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Region
and the Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Region
of a country in terms of production in agriculture.

It is noticeable that each area concentrates on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products. The Eastern
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Region
has a
slightly
more even distribution among products than the Western
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Region
does.

In the Eastern
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Region
, the top two products are meat, making up 35% of total agricultural production, and dairy, making up 30% of the total. While meat contributes the same
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propotion
, the percentage of dairy in the Western
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Region
halves that in the Eastern Region.

In the Western
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Region
, grain is the most significant part of the chart,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accouting
for 45%, which is three times higher than that in the Eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Region
. By contrast, vegetables is the smallest segment in total production, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%, whereas it
is recorded
20% in the Eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Region
.
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IELTS academic The pie charts show the percentages of agricultural production in two regions

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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