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The table depicts issues which are dealt with by elementary school students in terms of percentage in two different schools during 2005 and 2015.

The table depicts issues which are dealt with by elementary school students in terms of percentage in two different schools during 2005 and 2015. 1b0Jq
The table depicts issues which are dealt with by elementary school students in terms of percentage in two different schools during 2005 and 2015. Overall, school A has the most students who have difficulty in studying in both 2005 and 2015. While students at school B barely have any problem in their studies. In 2005, there were nearly half of the student in school A who had problem in following instructions, about 42%. Whilst in school B, this was a minor issues. Concentration in lessons was the second major problem in school A, following by verbal expression of ideas and listening which are just only 5% lower. The two problems mentioned above are the most considerable in school B, others aren’t as significant. In 2015, school A began to improve and fix most of its educational problems, the total percentage dropped sharply from about 1% to 24%. The only issues that school A couldn’t improve was students’ handwriting, the number remained the same in both years and due to that, it was then the biggest problem in school A. School B barely saw any decrease in its problems, but the figure even increased. Verbal expression and concentration were two of the major problems in school B.
The table depicts issues which
are dealt
with by elementary
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in terms of percentage in two
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different
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schools
during 2005 and 2015.

Overall
,
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school
A has the most
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students
who have difficulty in studying in both 2005 and 2015.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
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students
at
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school
B
barely
have any
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problem
in their studies.

In 2005, there were
nearly
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A who had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in following instructions, about 42%. Whilst in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
B, this was a minor issues. Concentration in lessons was the second major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A, following by verbal expression of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and listening which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% lower. The two
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problems
mentioned above are the most considerable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
B, others aren’t as significant.

In 2015,
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school
A began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
most of its educational
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problems
, the total percentage dropped
sharply
from about 1% to 24%. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
handwriting, the number remained the same in both years and due to that, it was then the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
B
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
any decrease in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the figure even increased. Verbal expression and concentration were two of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
B.
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IELTS academic The table depicts issues which are dealt with by elementary school students in terms of percentage in two different schools during 2005 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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