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The table demonstrates the percentage of poverty amongst six types of families in Australia in 1999.

The table demonstrates the percentage of poverty amongst six types of families in Australia in 1999. eEKGV
The table demonstrates the percentage of poverty amongst six types of families in Australia in 1999. It is clear that poverty rates of families having children were noticeably higher than those with no children. We can also see that single person was more likely to be poor than couples. The propotion of the elderly living in poverty was significantly lower than the young ones. In the year 1999, 183700 people or 11% of Australia's population were living in poverty. Looking at aged families, the poverty rates were significantly low, at 6% and 4% for single person and couples respectively. More then one fifth of single person were living in poverty in 1999. This rate of parents living with their partners was 12%. In the same year, families with no children were likely to be less poor than those having offsprings. While the percentage of poor single person was almost 20%, only 7% of couples were impoverished.
The table demonstrates the percentage of
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poverty
amongst six types of
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families
in Australia in 1999.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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poverty
rates of
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families
having children were
noticeably
higher than those with no children. We can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
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single
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person
was more likely to be poor than couples. The
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propotion
of the elderly
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living
in
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poverty
was
significantly
lower than the young ones.

In the year 1999, 183700
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people
or 11% of Australia's population were
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living
in
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poverty
. Looking at aged
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families
, the
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poverty
rates were
significantly
low, at 6% and 4% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
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person
and couples
respectively
.

More
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
one fifth of
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single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
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poverty
in 1999. This rate of parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their partners was 12%. In the same year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with no children were likely to be less poor than those having
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
. While the percentage of poor
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single
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person
was almost 20%,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% of couples
were impoverished
.
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IELTS academic The table demonstrates the percentage of poverty amongst six types of families in Australia in 1999.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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