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the table compares international tourism in 2009 and 2010 in 8 countries and the change (percentage)

the table compares international tourism in 2009 and 2010 in 8 countries and the change (percentage) O6RYG
The given table illustrates arrivals of the international tourist in different eight nations in two years 2009 and 2010 and the proportion of change. Overall, it is obvious that most international visitors to countries in 2010 were higher than those in 2009, while the opposite was true for France and Hong Kong. Additionally, most proportion of change increased over a year period, except for Hong Kong Looking at the table more closely, one can see that France’s tourists remained unchanged at 76 miilion, which was the highest firgue compared to others countries. International visitors to France and the US witnessed a slight increase by 1. 5 and 1. 8 percent respectively. Furthermore, the percentages of alteration in the UK and Italy went up steadily within a year, from 55 to 57 million and 44 to 45 million respectively. Moreover, there was an increase in 33 percent of change in Turkey compared to 55 percent in China from 2009 to 2010. The change of Germany was the most significant, increasing by 109 percent, from 11 to 23 million. In contrast, 10 million in 2009 experienced a decrease to 9 million, which was 11 percent reduction within a year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates arrivals of the international tourist in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
eight nations in two years 2009 and 2010 and the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Overall
, it is obvious that most international visitors to countries in 2010 were higher than those in 2009, while the opposite was true for France and Hong Kong.
Additionally
, most proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
increased over a
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year
period,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Hong Kong

Looking at the table more
closely
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that France’s tourists remained unchanged at 76
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miilion
, which was the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
firgue
compared to others countries. International visitors to France and the US witnessed a slight increase by 1. 5 and 1. 8
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percent
respectively
.
Furthermore
, the percentages of alteration in the UK and Italy went up
steadily
within a
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year
, from 55 to 57
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million
and 44 to 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
.

Moreover
, there was an increase in 33
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percent
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in Turkey compared to 55
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percent
in China from 2009 to 2010. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of Germany was the most significant, increasing by 109
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percent
, from 11 to 23
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million
.
In contrast
, 10
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million
in 2009 experienced a decrease to 9
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million
, which was 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
reduction within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic the table compares international tourism in 2009 and 2010 in 8 countries and the change (percentage)

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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