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The pie charts show the causes of diseases in developing and the developed countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the causes of diseases in developing and the developed countries. QlRG3
The pie charts compare the different kinds of diseases happened between developed nations and developing nations are measured in percentage. Overall, it is clear that the most popular disease in the developing nations is infectous and parasitic disease while most people in the developed nations suffers from other diseases. In the developing nations, infectous and parasitic disease makes up the largest proportion of total four types of diseases at 46 percent, whereas only 1 percent of this disease happens in the developed nations and those also almost doubles the amount of people with heart disease. On the other hand, the figure for other disease accounted for the vast majority in the developed countries at 54 percent, which is six times higher than the percentage of cancer in the developing countries capturing just 9 percent. Furthermore, the heart disease comprises almost the same the total diseases as the cancer does, at 24 percent and 21 percent respectively, there is just 2 percent of other diseases is seen on the lowest portion in the developed countries.
The pie charts compare the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
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diseases
happened between
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developed
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nations
and
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developing
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nations
are measured
in percentage.

Overall
, it is
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clear
that the most popular
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disease
in the
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developing
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nations
is
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infectous
and parasitic
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disease
while most
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people
in the
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developed
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nations
suffers from
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other
diseases.

In the
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developing
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nations
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
infectous
and parasitic
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disease
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makes
up the largest proportion of total four types of
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diseases
at 46
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percent
, whereas
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only
1
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percent
of this
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disease
happens in the
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developed
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nations
and those
also
almost doubles the amount of
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people
with heart
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disease
. On the
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other
hand, the figure for
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other
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disease
accounted for the vast majority in the
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developed
countries at 54
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percent
, which is six times higher than the percentage of cancer in the
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developing
countries capturing
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just
9
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percent
.
Furthermore
, the heart
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disease
comprises almost the same the total
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diseases
as the cancer does, at 24
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percent
and 21
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percent
respectively
, there is
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just
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the lowest portion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
countries.

IELTS academic The pie charts show the causes of diseases in developing and the developed countries.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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