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rates of birth and death in New Zealand during the period between 1901 till 2101.

rates of birth and death in New Zealand during the period between 1901 till 2101. PLRYg
The line graph illustrates the rates of birth and death in New Zealand during the period between 1901 till 2101. Overall, the birth rate has been much higher from the death rate from 1901 to the present 2021. Whereas it is forecasted that the death rate will be much higher than the rate of the birth in next decades. The birth rate increased significantly from 1901 at 20000 new-borns and it reached a peak of around 65000 in 1961 before fluctuated from 1961 to 2021. The birth rate is predicted to decline gradually with minor fluctuations from 2021 to 2101. As for the death rate, it kept fluctuating between 1901 and 2001. After 2001 the death rate increased rapidly from 25000 death in 2001 to 49000 in 2021, and it is forecasted to reach a peak rate at 60, 000 in 2061 before dropping slightly in the next 40 years.
The line graph illustrates the
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rates
of
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birth
and death in New Zealand during the period between 1901 till 2101.

Overall
, the
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birth
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rate
has been much higher from the death
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rate
from 1901 to the present 2021.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
it
is forecasted
that the death
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rate
will be much higher than the
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rate
of the
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birth
in
next
decades.

The
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birth
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rate
increased
significantly
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1901 to 20000"?
from 1901 at 20000
Possible spelling mistake found.
new-borns
and it reached a peak of around 65000 in 1961
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
fluctuated from 1961 to 2021. The
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birth
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rate
is predicted
to decline
gradually
with minor fluctuations from 2021 to 2101.

As for the death
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rate
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
fluctuating between 1901 and 2001. After 2001 the death
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rate
increased
rapidly
from 25000 death in 2001 to 49000 in 2021, and it
is forecasted
to reach a peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at 60, 000 in 2061
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping
slightly
in the
next
40 years.
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IELTS academic rates of birth and death in New Zealand during the period between 1901 till 2101.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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