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The table chart gives information about the proportion of mobile phone owners using seven mobile phone features in 5 years,

The table chart gives information about the proportion of mobile phone owners using seven mobile phone features in 5 years, GLrmL
The table chart gives information about the proportion of mobile phone owners using seven mobile phone features in 5 years, starting from 2006. Overall, a closer look at the table chart highlights the fact that the percentage of make calls witnessed downward trend, while that of remaining 7 services increased throughout the period shown. Looking at the table chart in more detail, the percentage of make calls, take photos, send & receive text messages were 100, 66, 73 in 2006 respectively. The figure of make calls remained unchanged at 100 before felling to 99 in 2010, while that of take photos, send& receive text messages slightly rose from 71, 75 in 2008 to 76, 79 in 2010. In 2006, the percentage of play games, play music were 17, 12 respectively. From 2008 to 2010, this figure continued significantly grew by 24, 14 respectively. There were a sharp climb in the percentage of search the internet and record video from no data in 2006 to 73, 35 in 2010, respectively.
The table chart gives information about the proportion of mobile phone owners using seven mobile phone features in 5 years, starting from 2006.

Overall
, a closer look at the table chart highlights the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
calls witnessed downward trend, while that of remaining 7 services increased throughout the period shown.

Looking at the table chart in more detail, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
calls, take photos,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
& receive text messages were 100, 66, 73 in 2006
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. The figure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
calls remained unchanged at 100
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
felling to 99 in 2010, while that of take photos,
Possible spelling mistake found.
send&
receive text messages
slightly
rose from 71, 75 in 2008 to 76, 79 in 2010.

In 2006, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of play games, play music were 17, 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. From 2008 to 2010, this figure continued
significantly
grew by 24, 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. There were a sharp climb in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of search the internet and record video from no data in 2006 to 73, 35 in 2010,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The table chart gives information about the proportion of mobile phone owners using seven mobile phone features in 5 years,

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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