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The table below shows the world market share of the notebook computer market for manufacturers in the years 2006 and 2007.

The table below shows the world market share of the notebook computer market for manufacturers in the years 2006 and 2007. 3OpX
The table compares the percentages of market shares of the top laptop companies in the world for a period of two years. It is clear that HP was the most popular manufacturer, followed by Dell in the years 2006 and 2007. By contrast, Fujitsu-Siemens had the least market share for the notebook computer, which was ranked sixth over the same period. In 2006, HP achieved a dominant position in the world market, with 31. 4% market share, and Dell was ranked second, at 16. 6%. Acer had 11. 6% market share, while Toshiba and Lenovo each took just under 7%. The least popular manufacturer compared to the other six companies was Fujitsu-Siemens, with 4. 8 market share. The market proportion of other unknown brands stood at 22. 8%. Between 2006 and 2007, the only three brands, HP, Dell and Toshiba, saw a rise in the share between 1% and 4%. Acer and Lenovo lost 0. 9% and 0. 4% during the same period, respectively. Fujitsu-Siemens still had the lowest market share, at 2. 3% in 2013. Other manufacturers lost their shares by 3. 5% in the same year.
The table compares the percentages of
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market
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shares
of the top laptop
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companies
in the world for a period of two years.

It is
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clear
that HP was the most popular manufacturer, followed by Dell in the years 2006 and 2007. By contrast, Fujitsu-Siemens had the least
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market
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share
for the notebook computer, which
was ranked
sixth over the same period.

In 2006, HP achieved a dominant position in the world
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market
, with 31. 4%
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market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
, and Dell
was ranked
second, at 16. 6%. Acer had 11. 6%
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market
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share
, while Toshiba and Lenovo each took
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just
under 7%. The least popular manufacturer compared to the other six
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
was Fujitsu-Siemens, with 4. 8
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market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
. The
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market
proportion of other unknown brands stood at 22. 8%.

Between 2006 and 2007, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three brands, HP, Dell and Toshiba,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
between 1% and 4%. Acer and Lenovo lost 0. 9% and 0. 4% during the same period,
respectively
. Fujitsu-Siemens
still
had the lowest
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market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
, at 2. 3% in 2013. Other manufacturers lost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shares
by 3. 5% in the same year.

IELTS academic The table below shows the world market share of the notebook computer market for manufacturers in the years 2006 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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