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the table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 scottish adults...

the table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 scottish adults. . . qRn8X
The given table illustrates one survey result which was about 6800 adults of Scotland who had participated in any cultural activities in past one year. Overall, it is evident that less people were interested in activity which was based on computer. The citizens belong to 16-24 age group was comparatively more active than other age groups. Less than two fifth of them performed dancing, singing, playing musical instruments and acting while 22% from second group and last group had participated in it. However, less than 20% of all age group took part in craft and cultural purchases (except elder people in craft). The participation of young citizens in visual arts was high and half of it were from aged 16 and over. Far less than 10% had participated in writing and computer based event from the people who were above 25. While 17% and 10% of first group took participate in writing and computer based events respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates one survey result which was about 6800 adults of Scotland who had participated in any cultural activities in past one year.

Overall
, it is evident that
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were interested
in activity which
was based
on computer.

The citizens belong to 16-24 age
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group
was
comparatively
more active than other age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Less
than two fifth of them performed dancing, singing, playing musical instruments and acting while 22% from second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
had participated in it.
However
,
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less
than 20% of all age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in craft and cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
(except elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in craft).

The participation of young citizens in visual arts was high and half of it were from aged 16 and over. Far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 10% had participated in writing and computer based
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were above 25. While 17% and 10% of
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
took participate in writing and computer based
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 scottish adults. . .

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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