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the line graph shows the growth in revenue and monthly performance of a leading chain of a health club for 2015

the line graph shows the growth in revenue and monthly performance of a leading chain of a health club for 2015 ebQqB
The provided line greph demonstrate the change in rate of earning along with monthly achievement in a health club during 2015. Overall, the figure of profit showed overall southward trend with fluctuations, whereas the performance of every month increased linearly. According to the line chart, it can be seen that the leading chain of health club made a continue progress in income until last month, where it reached at 13 %. Similarly, the noticeable fluctuations were seen in profit of health club where in very first month, the growth of sales was 8% which saw a increment of 3% in February. Whereas, the rise in revenue went down which reached at merely 3% in March. By contrast, during the month of April, it witnessed a sharp rise to touch it's pinnacle at 13%. Furthermore, with little changes the rate of income hinted it's nodier in July. The growth rate was 8% in August. However, it stagnated at 7-8% between August to October. In last month, the change in rate went up again to 13%.
The provided line
Possible spelling mistake found.
greph
demonstrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of earning along with monthly achievement in a health club during 2015.
Overall
, the figure of profit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
overall
southward trend with fluctuations, whereas the performance of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
increased
linearly
. According to the line chart, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the leading chain of health club made
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'continue' is correct. If 'continue' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a continue
progress in income until last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, where it reached at 13 %.
Similarly
, the noticeable fluctuations were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in profit of health club where in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, the growth of sales was 8% which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increment of 3% in February.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the rise in revenue went down which reached at
merely
3% in March. By contrast, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of April, it witnessed a sharp rise
Did you mean "to touch its pinnacle"?
to touch it's pinnacle
at 13%.
Furthermore
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of income hinted it's
Possible spelling mistake found.
nodier
in July. The growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was 8% in August.
However
, it stagnated at 7-8% between August to October. In last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
went up again to 13%.
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IELTS academic the line graph shows the growth in revenue and monthly performance of a leading chain of a health club for 2015

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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