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The bar chart shows the information about the proportion of elderly citizen of three nation in 1980, 2000 and 2030

The bar chart shows the information about the proportion of elderly citizen of three nation in 1980, 2000 and 2030 VY51w
The given bar chart illustrates the information about the proportion of 65 and over population in three nations in 1980, 2000 and projection for 2030. Overall, it is noticed that the percentage of Germany elderly citizen was the maximum in a given time. Also, it is predicted that there will be an upward trend in 65+ population in all three nations by 2030. At the first looking, in 1980, the least population of 65 and over was in Canada, which was exactly 10%. The population of Germany was 5% more than the Canada in the same year and there had a negligible difference in the proportion of Germany and UK in 1980, which was around 1%. In addition, in 2000, the percentage of old people in Canada and UK was the remain same 15% each, while Germany 65+ portion went up by 5% in same year. It is predicted that in 2030 the population of Germany will be reached at top, but the percentage of Canadian and british polled people will be increased slightly to about 21% and 19% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the information about the proportion of 65 and over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in three nations in 1980, 2000 and projection for 2030.

Overall
, it
is noticed
that the percentage of Germany elderly citizen was the maximum in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time.
Also
, it
is predicted
that there will be an upward trend in 65+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in all three nations by 2030.

At the
first
looking, in 1980, the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of 65 and over was in Canada, which was exactly 10%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Germany was 5% more than the Canada in the same year and there had a negligible difference in the proportion of Germany and UK in 1980, which was around 1%.

In addition
, in 2000, the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Canada and UK was
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'remain' is correct. If 'remain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the remain
same 15% each, while Germany 65+ portion went up by 5% in same year. It
is predicted
that in 2030 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Germany will
be reached
at top,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the percentage of Canadian and
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
polled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be increased
slightly
to about 21% and 19%
respectively
.

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the information about the proportion of elderly citizen of three nation in 1980, 2000 and 2030

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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