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The Table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 Scottish adults (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months.

The Table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 Scottish adults (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months. LW6n
The table illustrates a survey results of 6800 Scottish people between age 16 and above regarding to their involvement in various cultural activities in the last year. Overall, it is apparent from the table that involvement in any performance was one of the most popular activities whereas computer based activity was the least preferred. In the age between 16 and 24, the highest percentage of young ones participated in any performance at 35%, followed by visual arts ( at 30%) and writing art (at 17%) severally. In contrast, other activities were less popular and had only 10% to 11% of participants. Any performance was still favourable in adults (25 to 44 aged) people with 22% participants. While, 16% to 17% of adults were involved in visual arts, cultural purchases and undertaking crafts. Only 6% of people interested in writing. In the age group of 45 to 74, mostly elders involved in undertaking crafts at 22% followed by cultural purchases and any performance at around 18% participants. Computing had only 6% of elders. Considering all groups together, performance and crafts were the most popular at over 19% whereas cultural purchases and visual arts were relatively less preferable at 16% and 15% respectively. Finally, little interest was shown in writing and computing.
The table illustrates a survey results of 6800 Scottish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
between age 16 and above
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
their involvement in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the
‘last year’ indicates a finished event of the past. Please check the predicate's tense.
last year
.

Overall
, it is apparent from the table that involvement in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
was one of the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
whereas computer based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was the least preferred.

In the age between 16 and 24, the highest percentage of young ones participated in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
at 35%, followed by visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
at 30%) and writing
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art
(at 17%)
severally
.
In contrast
, other
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activities
were less popular and had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% to 11% of participants.

Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
was
still
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
in adults (25 to 44 aged)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with 22% participants. While, 16% to 17% of adults
were involved
in visual
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arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
and undertaking crafts.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
6% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
interested in writing. In the age group of 45 to 74,
mostly
elders involved in undertaking crafts at 22% followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
and any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
at around 18% participants. Computing had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6% of elders.

Considering all groups together,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
and crafts were the most popular at over 19% whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
and visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
were
relatively
less preferable at 16% and 15%
respectively
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest
was shown
in writing and computing.
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IELTS academic The Table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 Scottish adults (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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