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the happy valley shopping center has changed alot between 1982 and 2012. Do you agree with that statement?

the happy valley shopping center has changed alot between 1982 and 2012. YLkXd
The given maps illustrate the different of happy valley shopping center between 1982 and 2012 As we can seem, the biggest change is the removal of the lake and a part of trees of trees for another building In 1982, the Happy Valley Shopping Center was a large area with trees and a lake outside the shopping area. Follow the path through the garden area to the entrance and the lobby area, seem from the lobby area the the right was a fairly large row of toilets. Next to it, was the elevator to transfer to second floor there were 4 cabins to accommodate a lage number of guests. The furniture store, electronics store and sports store were located side by side on the right of the lift and surround the entertainment area. Then the food and coffee shop was arranged nearby for guests concernince.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
maps illustrate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
of happy valley shopping center between 1982 and 2012

As we can seem, the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the removal of the lake and a part
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "of trees".
of trees of trees
for another building

In 1982, the Happy Valley Shopping Center was a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
with trees and a lake outside the shopping area.

Follow the path through the garden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to the entrance and the lobby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, seem from the lobby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
right was a
fairly
large row of toilets.
Next
to it, was the elevator to transfer to second floor there were 4 cabins to accommodate a
Possible spelling mistake found.
lage
number of guests. The furniture store, electronics store and sports store
were located
side by side on the right of the lift and surround the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Then the food and coffee shop
was arranged
nearby for guests
Possible spelling mistake found.
concernince
.
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IELTS academic the happy valley shopping center has changed alot between 1982 and 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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