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The table below shows the percentage of people emoloyed in various sectors in California in 2010

The table below shows the percentage of people emoloyed in various sectors in California in 2010 b2JYQ
The table illustrates the proportion of employees in seven different fields in California in 2010 and a projection for percentages in 2030. Overall, the percentage of Health, Services, and Information Technology sectors is expected to increase in 2030 while the opposite is true for Government, Manufacturing/Agriculture, and Low Wage sectors. It is also obvious that Health sector is predicted to be the highest percentage in 2030 and Business/Administration will remain stable. As can be seen, Services and Information Technology sectors are expected to rise marginally from 17% to 20% and from 8% to 10% in 2030, respectively. Beside that, the expectation is that the sector of Health will be experience the highest percentage in 2030, it will nearly double 2010 with 23%. On the other hand, predictions show that the percentage of Government, Manufacturing/Agriculture fields will experience gradually decline in 2030 from 18% to 14% and 8% to 4%. Moreover, the Low Wage employment rate will be decreasing the most from 24% to 16% by 2030. The only sector which is estimated to witness a stability is Business/Administration. It will account for 13% over the period.
The table illustrates the proportion of employees in seven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields in California in 2010 and a projection for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
in 2030.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of Health, Services, and Information Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to increase in 2030 while the opposite is true for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
, Manufacturing/Agriculture, and Low Wage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. It is
also
obvious that Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is predicted
to be the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in 2030 and Business/Administration will remain stable.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, Services and Information Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to rise
marginally
from 17% to 20% and from 8% to 10% in 2030,
respectively
. Beside that, the expectation is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
of Health will be experience the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in 2030, it will
nearly
double 2010 with 23%.

On the other hand
, predictions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
, Manufacturing/Agriculture fields will experience
gradually
decline in 2030 from 18% to 14% and 8% to 4%.
Moreover
, the Low Wage employment rate will be decreasing the most from 24% to 16% by 2030.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
which
is estimated
to witness a stability is Business/Administration. It will account for 13% over the period.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the percentage of people emoloyed in various sectors in California in 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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