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The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors who satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors who satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. DJja
The number of visitors to Ashdown Museum in the year before and after it was refurbished is demonstrated in the table, while the chart illustrates the visitor satisfaction during the same time. Overall, comparing the period of the year before refurbishment and after, we can see a significant increase in the number of visitors, along with a reduction of dissatisfied visitors whereas the number of very satisfied and satisfied grew dramatically. As shown in the table, the number of visitors increases from 74 000 in the year before refurbishment, to 92 000 the year after refurbishment. Meanwhile, the charts show a change in satisfaction levels among those visitors. Before the refurbishment, almost half of all visitors surveyed were either dissatisfied or very dissatisfied, however in the year after the refurbishment this amount drops to 20 % of all visitors, showing a marked reduction. Along with this decrease in dissatisfied visitors, there was a drastic growth of the number of satisfied and very satisfied visitors going from 45% to 75% during the same two periods.
The
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number
of
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visitors
to
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Ashdown
Museum in the
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year
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before
and after it
was refurbished
is demonstrated
in the table, while the chart illustrates the
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visitor
satisfaction during the same time.

Overall
, comparing the period of the
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
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refurbishment
and after, we can
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see
a significant increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, along with a reduction of dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
whereas the
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number
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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satisfied
and
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satisfied
grew
dramatically
.

As shown in the table, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
increases from 74 000 in the
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
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refurbishment
, to 92 000 the
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year
after
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refurbishment
. Meanwhile, the charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in satisfaction levels among those visitors.

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Before
the
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refurbishment
, almost half of all
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visitors
surveyed were either dissatisfied or
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very
dissatisfied,
however
in the
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year
after the
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refurbishment
this amount drops to 20 % of all
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visitors
, showing a marked reduction. Along with this decrease in dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, there was a drastic growth of the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
going from 45% to 75% during the same two periods.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors who satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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