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The table below shows the employment of students from four countries in the UK after their first courses in 2001.

The table below shows the employment of students from four countries in the UK after their first courses in 2001. wBgQY
The tabular chart illustrates the employment status of first degree graduates from four UK universities, namely Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland in the year of 2001. Overall, It can be clearly seen the maximum Scottish graduates got employment while the minimum graduates from Northern Ireland got jobs in the year. To begin with, the Scottish graduates got 66. 4% of total employment and out of these 43. 6% got permanent jobs, 20. 2% got temporary jobs, but only 2. 6% were employed in foreign countries. The degree holders from England showed 58. 3% of total jobs, out of these 33% of graduates got permanent jobs, 23% got short-term jobs and remaining 2. 9% went for overseas jobs. Furthermore, The total percentage of 45. 3% Welsh graduates got hired, out of these 30% of graduates considered permanent jobs, whereas 12. 4% had temporary jobs and only 2. 9% had jobs in other countries. Then after, the total proportion of only 33. 6% got by Irish graduates, out of which, permanent and temporary jobs are considered 20% and 8. 6% respectively. And only 6% for outside jobs.
The tabular chart illustrates the employment status of
first
degree
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graduates
from four UK universities,
namely
Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland in the year of 2001.

Overall
, It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the maximum Scottish
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graduates
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got
employment while the minimum
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graduates
from Northern Ireland
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got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the year.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the Scottish
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graduates
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got
66. 4% of
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total
employment and out of these 43. 6%
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got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
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jobs
, 20. 2%
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got
temporary
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jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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only
2. 6%
were employed
in foreign countries. The degree holders from England
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
58. 3% of
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, out of these 33% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
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jobs
, 23%
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got
short-term
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jobs
and remaining 2. 9% went for overseas jobs.

Furthermore
, The
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total
percentage of 45. 3% Welsh
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graduates
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got
hired, out of these 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
considered
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permanent
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jobs
, whereas 12. 4% had temporary
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jobs
and
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only
2. 9% had
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jobs
in other countries.

Then after, the
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total
proportion of
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only
33. 6%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
by Irish
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graduates
, out of which,
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permanent
and temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are considered
20% and 8. 6%
respectively
. And
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only
6% for outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the employment of students from four countries in the UK after their first courses in 2001.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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