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the maps show the changing in happy valley shopping centre in 1982 and 2012

the maps show the changing in happy valley shopping centre in 1982 and 2012 e5n2A
The assigned maps illustrate the information regarding the Happy valley Shopping Centre in 1982 and 2012. In 1982, First of all start with single road that reach to happy valley shopping centre, there, the left side was the beautiful lake and the shopping centre had been covered with trees After that, when entrance to the shopping mall they reached to lobby area and in the left side was the coffee shop, and the right side had toilet However, go through the onward of Entertainment wrea that the food Store had wear the entertainment area in left. In addition, their were three stores also near the fun area like as sports store, Electronic store and the Furniture store. By 2012. the Happy valley shopping centre facilities had been changed like the path was converted into the parking lot and enter the shopping centre had right side was toilets, and the lake had been into Furniture retail store. After some the entertainator area left hdd was the sports and electronices store and the right was food store and the elewator on 2nd floor
The assigned maps illustrate the information regarding the Happy valley
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
in 1982 and 2012.

In 1982,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with single

road that reach to happy valley
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, there, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
lake and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
had
been covered
with trees After that, when entrance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall they reached to

lobby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side was

the coffee shop, and the right side had

toilet
However
, go through the onward of Entertainment
Possible spelling mistake found.
wrea
that the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Store
had wear the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
.
In addition
, their were three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
also
near the fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
like as sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and the Furniture store.

By 2012.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
Happy valley
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
facilities had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
like the path
was converted
into the parking lot and enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
had right side was toilets, and the lake had been into Furniture retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertainator
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
Possible spelling mistake found.
hdd
was the sports and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "electronics", the plural form of the noun 'electronic'?
electronices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and the right was food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and

the
Possible spelling mistake found.
elewator
on 2nd
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
floor
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IELTS academic the maps show the changing in happy valley shopping centre in 1982 and 2012

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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