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The table below shows the average incomes of scientists employed by the National of Health. (NIH)

The table below shows the average incomes of scientists employed by the National of Health. (NIH) gJdD
The given table compares the differences in the pay of males and females scientists according to their position in the National Institute of Health. Overall, men earn more than women in almost all positions. Furthermore, the highest and lowest differences in salaries can be seen where the smallest number of females is employed. It can be seen that women earn much less than men, and differences vary between 197$ and 9121$. There is only one position in which women scientists have higher salaries, and it is Lab Chief MD. Furthermore, this is the biggest difference among all incomes (10509$). Females and males have almost the same salaries in the position of Lab Chief PhD, the difference accounts for only 197 dollars. Also, there are more men scientists at NIH than women. For example, the biggest number of men in one position is 483 compared to 118 number of women, so the difference in the highest indicators is 365.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table compares the
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differences
in the pay of males and females scientists according to their
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position
in the National Institute of Health.

Overall
,
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men
earn more than
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women
in almost all
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positions
.
Furthermore
, the highest and lowest
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differences
in salaries can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
where the smallest number of females
is employed
.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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women
earn much less than
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men
, and
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differences
vary between
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$197".
197$
and
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$9121".
9121$
. There is
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only
one
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position
in which
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women
scientists have higher salaries, and it is Lab Chief MD.
Furthermore
, this is the biggest
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difference
among all incomes (
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$10509".
10509$
). Females and males have almost the same salaries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
of Lab Chief PhD, the
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difference
accounts for
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only
197 dollars.

Also
, there are more
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men
scientists at NIH than
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women
.
For example
, the biggest number of
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men
in one
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position
is 483 compared to 118 number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
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difference
in the highest indicators is 365.

IELTS academic The table below shows the average incomes of scientists employed by the National of Health. (NIH)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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