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The pie graph below shows the results of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which girls participate.

The pie graph below shows the results of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which girls participate. N1Ay
Overall, it can be seen that equal quantities of both sexes enjoyed listening to music but a dramatically larger number of girls likes reading rather than boys. To begin with, most of the boys like to play computer games about 34%, To contrast, the ratio of girls was lower at 16%. There are same proportion of listening music for both boys and girls, with 10%. This is the same with Skateboarding in boys and Gymnastics in girls, approximately 11%. Moreover, reading is the least popular in boys cultural and leisure activities at 2%, while the percentage of reading in girls increases significantly at 21%. Boys participate in Basketball as the same percentage in girls of Dancing around 26% and 27%, respectively. 15% of Girls play Netball and the same proportion in boys soccer at 17%.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that equal quantities of both sexes enjoyed listening to music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
dramatically
larger number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
likes reading
rather
than boys.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
like to play computer games about 34%, To contrast, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
was lower at 16%. There are same proportion of listening music for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, with 10%. This is the same with Skateboarding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and Gymnastics in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, approximately 11%.

Moreover
, reading is the least popular in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
cultural and leisure activities at 2%, while the percentage of reading in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
increases
significantly
at 21%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Boys
participate in Basketball as the same percentage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
of Dancing around 26% and 27%,
respectively
. 15% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
play Netball and the same proportion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
soccer at 17%.

IELTS academic The pie graph below shows the results of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which girls participate.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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