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The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v.2

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 2
The provided table compares four important economic and social factors of four countries namely Canada, Japan, Peru and Zaire for the year 1994. As is observed from the given data, Canada and Japan had a far better economic and social conditions than the other two countries. We can observe from the given information that, Japan had the highest literacy rate (99%), per person annual income (USD 15760), longest life expectancy (78 years) and second-highest (2846) daily calorie supply per person. Again Canada was another country with a very good social and economic situation that had 99% literate population, USD 11100 per person annual earning, 76 years life expectancy and the highest daily calorie supply per person which was 3326. On the contrary, the other two countries had poorer economic and social conditions. Peru had only $ 160 annual income per person which is 98 times less than Japan and they had only 68% adult literate compared to the 99% from two other developed countries. Zaire had the worst economic and social condition among these four countries in the year 1994 with the least adult literacy (only 34%), 130 USD annual per-person income, 1749 daily calorie supply and only 47 years life expectancy. In summary, Japan and Canada were two socially and economically developed countries with very good social and economic indicators while Peru and Zaire were two undeveloped countries with poor life expectancy, earning, food supply and literacy rates.
The provided table compares four
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important
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economic
and
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social
factors of four
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countries
namely
Canada,
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Japan
, Peru and Zaire for the
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year
1994. As
is observed
from the
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given
data, Canada and
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Japan
had a far better
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economic
and
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social
conditions than the other two countries.

We can observe from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information that,
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Japan
had the highest literacy rate (99%), per
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person
annual income (USD 15760),
A determiner is probably missing here: "the longest".
longest
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life
expectancy (78 years) and second-highest (2846) daily calorie
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supply
per
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person
. Again Canada was another
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country
with a
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very
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good
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social
and
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economic
situation that had 99% literate population, USD 11100 per
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person
annual earning, 76 years
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life
expectancy and the highest daily calorie
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supply
per
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person
which was 3326.
On the contrary
, the other two
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countries
had poorer
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economic
and
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social
conditions. Peru had
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only
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$160".
$ 160
annual income per
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person
which is 98 times less than
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Japan and
they had
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only
68% adult literate compared to the 99% from two other developed
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countries
. Zaire had the worst
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economic
and
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social
condition among these four
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countries
in the
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year
1994 with the least adult literacy (
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only
34%), 130 USD annual per-person income, 1749 daily calorie
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supply
and
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only
47 years
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life
expectancy.

In summary,
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Japan
and Canada were two
socially
and
economically
developed
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countries
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
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economic
indicators while Peru and Zaire were two undeveloped
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countries
with poor
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life
expectancy, earning, food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supply
and literacy rates.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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