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The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v.4

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 4
The given table depicts some striking information according to the statistics of the United Nations which represents social and economic indicators of four particular countries in the year 1994. According to the provided table, it can be seen clearly that, living standards of Canadian and Japanese citizens were far better than that of people of Peru and Zaire. As is presented in the table, initially, annual incomes of Canadian and Japanese people were much higher with 11100 and 15760 USD per person in 1994 while people of Peru and Zaire had only 260 and 130 USD per person respectively. In addition, life expectancy at birth in Canada and Japan was 76 and 78 years whereas it was only 51 and 47 only in Peru and Zaire. As is observed from the given data, daily calorie supply in Canada and Japan was 3326 and 2846 per person while this ratio in Peru and Zaire was almost half, with 1927 and 1749 per person. Again, the adult literacy rate in both Canada and Japan was exactly same - 99%, while other two countries namely Peru and Zaire had far less adult literacy rates which were 68 and 34 percents respectively. In summary, citizens of Canada and Japan had incredibly better living standards than that of Peru and Zaire in all indicated areas in the statistics.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table depicts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
striking information according to the statistics of the United Nations which represents social and economic indicators of four particular countries in the year 1994. According to the provided table, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
that, living standards of Canadian and Japanese citizens were far better than that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Peru and Zaire.

As
is presented
in the table,
initially
, annual incomes of Canadian and Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were much higher with 11100 and 15760 USD per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in 1994 while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Peru and Zaire had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
260 and 130 USD per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
respectively
.
In addition
, life expectancy at birth in Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was 76 and 78 years whereas it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
51 and 47
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in Peru and Zaire.

As
is observed
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, daily calorie supply in Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was 3326 and 2846 per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
while this ratio in Peru and Zaire was almost half, with 1927 and 1749 per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Again, the adult literacy rate in both Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was exactly same
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
99%, while other two countries
namely
Peru and Zaire had far less adult literacy rates which were 68 and 34 percents
respectively
.

In summary, citizens of Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had
incredibly
better living standards than that of Peru and Zaire in all indicated areas in the statistics.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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