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The table below shows Carbon dioxide emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v.1

The table below shows Carbon dioxide emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 1
The bar chart clearly illustrates the emission of carbon dioxide for various transportation vehicles given in Grams per passenger per km in European countries; further graph depicts the spending of European Union on these vehicles. As far as concerned the bar chart, it is quite clear that the air transport generate more than thrice air pollution than any other form of transportation around 375 gm per km. while in others vehicles cars comes on second, they produce almost 175 gm per km, than buses more than 50 gm per km, while others vehicles namely Coaches, Maritime and Rail are responsible to produce around 50 gram of carbon dioxide. The Pie charts shows the European Union allocates 52 percent of their total budget on roads. Moreover they spend 31 percent on Railways than 10 percent on public transport. On the contrast, they spend only 1 or 2 percent on other forms of transport Inland Water, ports, Airports, and Unknown respectively. It is clear from above discussion that air transport are responsible for more emission of carbon dioxide and European countries focus and spend more on Roads.
The bar chart
clearly
illustrates the emission of carbon dioxide for various transportation vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in Grams per passenger per km in European countries;
further
graph depicts the spending of European Union on these vehicles.

As far as concerned the bar chart, it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
generate more than thrice air pollution than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
form of transportation around 375 gm per km. while in others vehicles cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
on second, they produce almost 175 gm per km, than buses more than 50 gm per km, while others vehicles
namely
Coaches, Maritime and Rail are responsible to produce around 50
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
of carbon dioxide.

The Pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the European Union allocates 52
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of their total budget on roads.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they spend 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
on Railways than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. On the contrast, they spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 or 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
Inland Water, ports, Airports, and Unknown
respectively
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from above discussion that air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
are responsible for more emission of carbon dioxide and European countries focus and spend more on Roads.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The table below shows Carbon dioxide emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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