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The table below gives information about the employment sectors in which people from 3 age groups worked.

The table below gives information about the employment sectors in which people from 3 age groups worked. dde6
The table compares the occupations in which three age groups of people are involved namely 18 to 25, 25 to 40, and 40 to 65. Overall, it is clear that the vast majority of people of 18 to 25 are in the retail sector while 25 to 40 hast the highest people in the health sector, and above 60 most of the people are witnessed in manufacturing. In addition, the same amount of people is in law from all age groups. In terms of manufacturing, health, and retail, the most people who belong to less than 25 age are working in the retail sector, and the equal number of people are working in manufacturing from above 40 age while between 25 and 40 age group the greatest number of people are working in the health sector. Regarding agriculture, catering, law, and accountancy, less than 10 people are working from all three age groups. With regards to local government, the most fraction is from above 40 ages whilst the least are from less than 18 age. Moreover, in education, above 25 and above 40 are showing an equal amount of people which is 12. However, others occupation has the highest majority of less than 25 age, compared to 18 people from 25 to 40 ages and just 9 people from above 40 age.
The table compares the occupations in which three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are involved
namely
18 to 25, 25 to 40, and 40 to 65.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of 18 to 25 are in the retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
while 25 to 40 hast the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
60 most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are witnessed
in manufacturing.
In addition
, the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is in law from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

In terms of manufacturing, health, and retail, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who belong to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, and the equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in manufacturing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
while between 25 and 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group the greatest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. Regarding agriculture, catering, law, and accountancy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from all three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, the most fraction is from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
whilst the least are from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Moreover
, in education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
25 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
40 are showing an equal amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is 12.
However
, others occupation has the highest majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, compared to 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from 25 to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
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IELTS academic The table below gives information about the employment sectors in which people from 3 age groups worked.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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