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the survey results about numerous reasons that have implication in work performance

the survey results about numerous reasons that have implication in work performance 2rorM
The charts illustrate the survey results about numerous reasons that have implication in work performance. This research was based on the identification of two employee groups, namely workers aged 18-30 and workers aged 45-60. Specifically, the chance for personal development was the main factor for those who were categorized in the first group that implicating their job progress. Furthermore, the relaxed working environment and the probability for job promotion, have the same score to become the other reasons for many employees aged 18-30. Meanwhile, based on this survey, the work environment is known as the lowest factor that probably could affect this group’s work progress. On the other side, employees aged 45-60 considered that money became their biggest reason to encourage their best performance on their job. Subsequently, a few of them chose job security as their crucial factor that giving impact on their job performance. In conclusion, whilst workers aged 45-60 tend to have money orientation on their highest quality of their job progress, workers aged 18-30 tend to make personal development chance as their push factor for their best performance.
The charts illustrate the survey results about numerous reasons that have implication in work performance. This research
was based
on the identification of two employee groups,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
18-30 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
45-60.

Specifically
, the chance for personal development was the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for those who
were categorized
in the
first
group that implicating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
progress.
Furthermore
, the relaxed working environment and the probability for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
promotion, have the same score to become the other reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
18-30. Meanwhile, based on this survey, the work environment
is known
as the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
that
probably
could affect this group’s work progress.

On the other side, employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
45-60 considered that money became their biggest reason to encourage their best performance on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Subsequently
, a few of them chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security as their crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
that giving impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
performance.

In conclusion
, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
45-60 tend to have money orientation on their highest quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
progress,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
18-30 tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
personal development chance as their push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for their best performance.
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IELTS academic the survey results about numerous reasons that have implication in work performance

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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