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percentage of tourists to England who visited Brighton attraction

percentage of tourists to England who visited Brighton attraction xgn0Q
The line graph gives information about the rate of tourists who visited Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier, and Festival in Brighton in England from 1980 to 2010. Overall, Pavilion was the most popular place to the tourists, while the Art Gallery had the lower number of visitors and had a downward trend. The percentage of visitors of Pier was fluctuated over the period, while Festival had a steady decreased on visitors’ rate. From 1980 to 1990, Pavilions’ tourists rate rose significantly from about 25% to 40%, while Tourists percentage who visited Festival decreased slightly from 30% to almost 25%. In 1995, Pavilion reached to the peak with around 50% of tourists then it dramatic decreased until 2010 and reached to 30%. Moreover, Festival had a modest increased during the five years and reached to about 30%. During First 10 years, Art Gallery and Pier have a fluctuated percentage of tourists. From 1990 to 2010, rate of tourists increased gradually and reached to more than 20%, while Tourists’ percentage who arrived Art Gallery fall gradually and reached to less than 10%.
The line graph gives information about the rate of
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tourists
who visited
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Art
Gallery,

Pavilion, Pier, and
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Festival
in Brighton in England from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, Pavilion was the most popular place to the
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tourists
, while the
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Art
Gallery

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had
the lower number of visitors and had a downward trend. The
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percentage
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of


visitors of Pier
was fluctuated
over the period, while
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Festival
had a steady

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
decreased
on visitors’ rate.

From 1980 to 1990, Pavilions’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
rate rose
significantly
from about 25% to

40%, while
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Tourists
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percentage
who visited
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Festival
decreased
slightly
from 30%

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to
almost 25%. In 1995, Pavilion
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reached
to the peak with around 50% of
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tourists


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then
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it dramatic
decreased until 2010 and
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reached
to 30%.
Moreover
,
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Festival
had

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
modest increased during the five years and
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reached
to about 30%.

During
First
10 years,
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Art
Gallery and Pier have a fluctuated
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percentage
of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
tourists
. From 1990 to 2010, rate of
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tourists
increased
gradually
and
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reached
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


more than 20%, while
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Tourists’
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percentage
who arrived
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Art
Gallery fall
gradually


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
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reached
to less than 10%.
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IELTS academic percentage of tourists to England who visited Brighton attraction

Academic
  American English
15 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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