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the changes to an area between 2012 and 2016

the changes to an area between 2012 and 2016 W5RnK
The two maps show the changes to an area between 2012 and 2016. It was mostly polluted and unused. The area was transformed into a much nicer one in 2016. The old farm buildings were renewed to Holiday cottages. The old factory next to the trees became a large swimming pool. The river was polluted and there weren't trees around it. The river became clean and there are trees on one side. Trees were removed and turned into a golf course.
The two maps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to an area between 2012 and 2016. It was
mostly
polluted and unused. The area
was transformed
into a much nicer one in 2016. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
farm buildings
were renewed
to Holiday cottages.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
factory
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
became a large swimming pool.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
river
was polluted
and there weren't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
around it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
river became clean and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
on one side.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trees
were removed
and turned into a golf course.
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IELTS academic the changes to an area between 2012 and 2016

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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