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The provided line graph shows the proportions of new graduates in ontario who could get opportunities to be recruited as english and french educators from 2001 to 2007

The provided line graph shows the proportions of new graduates in ontario who could get opportunities to be recruited as english and french educators from 2001 to 2007 wKKye
The provided line graph shows the proportions of new graduates in ontario who could get opportunities to be recruited as English and French educators from 2001 to 2007. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the percentage of new English-language teachers was much smaller than that of French. The two lines started in 2001 with very large proportions, about 73 percent for English teachers while that for French teachers was fractionally less than by 3 percent. In the next year of 2002, both two lines recorded a rapid decrease to just over a half. However, since 2003, French teachers who had just finished universities or colleges found it was easier to got jobs than English teachers. In 2003, the percentage for English and French teachers was just about 40 percent and almost 68 percent respectively. In the next 3-year period, all the statistics climbed up gradually until a slight change in the last year of the survey, 2007. French teachers’ recruitment rate increased to nearly 75 percent whereas English’ ones declined to roughly 30 percent.
The provided line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the proportions of new graduates in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ontario
who could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities to
be recruited
as English and French educators from 2001 to 2007.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the percentage of new English-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
was much smaller than that of French.

The two lines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 2001 with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large proportions, about 73
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
while that for French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
was
fractionally
less than by 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. In the
next
year of 2002, both two lines recorded a rapid decrease to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half.
However
, since 2003, French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finished universities or colleges found it was easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jobs than English teachers.

In 2003, the percentage for English and French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and almost 68
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
. In the
next
3-year period, all the statistics climbed up
gradually
until a slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the last year of the survey, 2007. French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
recruitment rate increased to
nearly
75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
whereas English’ ones declined to roughly 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The provided line graph shows the proportions of new graduates in ontario who could get opportunities to be recruited as english and french educators from 2001 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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