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The reasons why people move to capitals

The reasons why people move to capitals gxxwA
The chart clearly shows that there are four major reasons which can be causes of relocating to capitals Firstly you can see the employment and job-oriented bases of these moving and its increasing between 2000-2010 is apparent however in next period faces with a slight decrease In second stage we are observing the category of studying which has been constantly growing during this fifteen years and except a period of 2005-2010 Its growth is notably rapid Thirdly we can mention two different groups of causes which are family-friends and adventure; however they have slightly same raising rate but the family-friends category is apparently more influential for this kind of migration and its growth is sharper than the factors which are somehow related with adventure Overall; despite holding four distinguished categories of causes that people ultimately want to change their habitat to capitals we can observe that the employment and study based reasons are absolutely more determinate.
The chart
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there are four major reasons which can be causes of relocating to capitals

Firstly
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the employment and job-oriented bases of these moving and its increasing between 2000-2010 is apparent
however
in
next
period faces with a slight decrease

In second stage we are observing the category of studying which has been
constantly
growing during this fifteen years and except a period of 2005-2010

Its growth is
notably
rapid

Thirdly
we can mention two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
groups of causes which are family-friends and adventure;
however
they have
slightly
same raising rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the family-friends category is
apparently
more influential for this kind of migration and its growth is sharper than the factors which are somehow related with adventure

Overall
; despite holding four distinguished categories of causes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ultimately
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their habitat to capitals we can observe that the employment and study based reasons are
absolutely
more determinate.

IELTS academic The reasons why people move to capitals

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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