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The provided bar graphs delineate the path that graduate and postgraduate students followed in the UK, after completing college in 2008, excluding full-time work.

The provided bar graphs delineate the path that graduate and postgraduate students followed in the UK, after completing college in 2008, excluding full-time work. 7aA3k
The provided bar graphs delineate the path that graduate and postgraduate students followed in the UK, after completing college in 2008, excluding full-time work. A glance at the charts reveals that most of the graduate and postgraduate students chose to go on with their education. However, graduate students who decided to follow a different path rather than working in a full-time job were a lot more than the people who had completed a master’s degree. In particular, 29, 665 of the individuals holding a bachelor’s degree preferred to study further. At the same time, 17, 735 people chose to work part-time whereas the number reduced by 1500 for unemployed graduates. Moreover, only a small fraction of students decided to serve voluntarily with that figure standing at 3, 500. Simultaneously, the postgraduate students’ destination followed the same pattern as that of graduates, but the numbers were significantly lower. Precisely, postgraduates who determined to go on further academically were only 2, 725, and the ones who got engaged in part-time jobs stood at 2, 535. However, it is noteworthy that the unemployment rate touched only 1, 625 postgraduate students, while merely 345 individuals decided to do voluntary work.
The provided bar graphs delineate the path that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
followed in the UK, after completing college in 2008, excluding full-time work.

A glance at the charts reveals that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
chose to go on with their education.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decided to follow a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
path
rather
than working in a full-time job were a lot more than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had completed a master’s degree.

In particular
, 29, 665 of the individuals holding a bachelor’s degree preferred to study
further
. At the same time, 17, 735
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose to work part-time whereas the number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by 1500 for unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decided to serve
voluntarily
with that figure standing at 3, 500.

Simultaneously
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
destination followed the same pattern as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the numbers were
significantly
lower.
Precisely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
determined to go on
further
academically
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2, 725, and the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
engaged in part-time jobs stood at 2, 535.
However
, it is noteworthy that the unemployment rate touched
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1, 625
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, while
merely
345 individuals decided to do voluntary work.
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IELTS academic The provided bar graphs delineate the path that graduate and postgraduate students followed in the UK, after completing college in 2008, excluding full-time work.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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