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The provided bar chart gives the number of five favourite activities of children in the age group from 5 to 14 years old in Australia.

The provided bar chart gives the number of five favourite activities of children in the age group from 5 to 14 years old in Australia. lXqBD
The provided bar chart gives the number of five favourite activities of children in the age group from 5 to 14 years old in Australia. Overall, the figure of boys take part in more than girls in each activity, except art and craft. It is noticeable that all Australian children enjoy watching television programs or movies and this is the most common leisure activity, gaining the same number of choices, at 100 percent for each gender. In contrast, the lowest proportion is skateboarding for the girls, and art and craft for the boys, which has a ratio about 20 percent and nearly a third respectively. Regarding the majority interest, playing computer games is the second most popular hobby among these children, with 80 percent of boys participating compared to 20 percent fewer girls. Meanwhile, bike riding is also the third leisure interest that attracts Australian youngsters joining, approximately three quarters for boys and nearly 60% for girls. In conclusion, children’s selection for activities in their free time depends on the gender and favourite. It seems that youngsters tend to join activities which are more sporty.
The provided bar chart gives the number of five
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the age group from 5 to 14 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in Australia.
Overall
, the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "takes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'take' is not always incorrect.)
take
part in more than girls in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, except art and craft.

It is noticeable that all Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enjoy watching television programs or movies and this is the most common leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, gaining the same number of choices, at 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for each gender.
In contrast
, the lowest proportion is skateboarding for the girls, and art and craft for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, which has a ratio about 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and
nearly
a third
respectively
.

Regarding the majority interest, playing computer games is the second most popular hobby among these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, with 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
participating compared to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
fewer girls. Meanwhile, bike riding is
also
the third leisure interest that attracts Australian youngsters joining, approximately three quarters for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
nearly
60% for girls.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
selection for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their free time depends on the gender and
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
. It seems that youngsters tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which are more sporty.
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IELTS academic The provided bar chart gives the number of five favourite activities of children in the age group from 5 to 14 years old in Australia.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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