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Salt removed from sea water to make it drinkable

Salt removed from sea water to make it drinkable O6wxE
The diagram demonstrates how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable. First of all, the salt water brought in from the sea to a pre-treatment filter through a water intake. From this filter backwash is removed and it is sent back to the sea. Next the filtered water forced through a membrane a high pressure to separate water molecules from salt and other impurities. The sea water concentrate is returned to the sea. At the next stage the water is post treated with lime, chlorine and fluoride to get drinkable freshwater. Then it is transferred to a storage where water is gave out to the people via a water supply system. Over all, the final output of the salt water desalination process is clean and drinkable, because the harmful ingredients has removed. And all of these removed ingredients has sent back to the sea.
The diagram demonstrates how
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salt
is
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removed
from
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sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it drinkable.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
brought in from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
to a pre-treatment filter through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
intake. From this filter backwash is
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removed
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
back to the
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sea
.
Next
the filtered
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water
forced through a membrane a high pressure to separate
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water
molecules from
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salt
and other impurities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
concentrate
is returned
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
. At the
next
stage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is post treated with lime, chlorine and fluoride to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
drinkable freshwater. Then it
is transferred
to a storage where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is gave out to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
via a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply system. Over all, the final output of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
desalination process is clean and drinkable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the harmful ingredients has
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removed
. And all of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
removed
ingredients has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
.
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IELTS academic Salt removed from sea water to make it drinkable

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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