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the proportion of various types of energy production i

the proportion of various types of energy production i ox8kb
The two pie charts provide the information about how the proportion of various types of energy production in France changed in the years 1995 and 2005. Overall, the trend is that the proportion of coal and gas of France in both years made up more than half of energy generation, while there was relatively less proportion of nuclear and other sources of energy. In terms of the most significant feature of the two charts, energy generated from coal accounted for 29. 80% of total energy at the beginning pf the period, experiencing a very slight increase of about 1% in 2005. Similarly, energy outputs from gas, which comprised 29. 63% of total energy production in 1995, rose marginally to 30. 1% after 10 years period. In regard to the other remaining modes of producing energy, there was a rough 5% growth in the production from nuclear power and the use of other energy sources, rising from 6. 40% to 10. 10% and from 4. 90% to 9. 10%, respectively. Petroleum, on the other hand, fell considerably to just under one-fifth of total by 2005 although it was used as the same amount as oil and gas in 1995 (29. 27%).
The two pie charts provide the information about how the proportion of various types of
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energy
production in France
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the years 1995 and 2005.

Overall
, the trend is that the proportion of coal and gas of France in both years made up more than half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generation, while there was
relatively
less proportion of nuclear and
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other
sources of energy.

In terms of the most significant feature of the two charts,
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energy
generated from coal accounted for 29. 80% of total
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energy
at the beginning pf the period, experiencing a
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very
slight increase of about 1% in 2005.
Similarly
,
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energy
outputs from gas, which comprised 29. 63% of total
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energy
production in 1995, rose
marginally
to 30. 1% after 10 years period.

In regard to the
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other
remaining modes of producing
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energy
, there was a rough 5% growth in the production from nuclear power and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources, rising from 6. 40% to 10. 10% and from 4. 90% to 9. 10%,
respectively
. Petroleum, on the
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other
hand, fell
considerably
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under one-fifth of total by 2005 although it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as the same amount as oil and gas in 1995 (29. 27%).
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IELTS academic the proportion of various types of energy production i

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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