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line graph gives the information about junkfood

line graph gives the information about junkfood nEdeR
Overall, the pizza and hamburgers show the upward trend whereas, the fish and chips follows the downward trend. As it is presented in the line graph in 1975 almost 10 to 15 percent of pizza and hamburgers were eaten by youngsters per year in Australian. The use and intake of hamburgers increased dramatically and reaches more then 80% in 1980, after that it increases steadily and by 1995 the hamburgers consumption was nearly 100 and almost const. . from 1995 to 2000. The demand for pizza also gradually increased during 1975 to 1995 and remains constant. for the next five years. Now turning to the fish and chips the demand and consumption were high in 1975. But after that the line graph shows the variation for their intake quantity with descending trend. By 2000 the interest of youngster decrease in fish and chips and it teaches nearly below then 40%.
Overall
, the pizza and hamburgers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the upward trend whereas, the fish and chips follows the downward trend. As it
is presented
in the line graph in 1975 almost 10 to 15 percent of pizza and hamburgers
were eaten
by youngsters per year in Australian. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and intake of hamburgers increased
dramatically
and reaches more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
80% in 1980, after that it increases
steadily
and by 1995 the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "hamburgers'" or "hamburger's"?
hamburgers
consumption was
nearly
100 and almost
Possible spelling mistake found.
const
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
1995 to 2000. The demand for pizza
also
gradually
increased during 1975 to 1995 and remains constant.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
the
next
five years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
turning to the fish and chips the demand and consumption were high in 1975.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after that the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the variation for their intake quantity with descending trend. By 2000 the interest of youngster decrease in fish and chips and it teaches
nearly
below then 40%.
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IELTS academic line graph gives the information about junkfood

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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