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The average of energy that used household and greenhouse gas emission the effect of energy used

The average of energy that used household and greenhouse gas emission the effect of energy used eb31K
The pie charts represent the average of energy that used household and greenhouse gas emissions which cause by the energy used in Australia. Heating and other appliances are use energy about 42% and 15% but emission of greenhouse gas are 15% and 28%. Household spent 30% of energy on water heating which is the second largest and it results about 32% of greenhouse gas and it slightly increase 2%. Cooling is the smallest amount of used power only 2% and it can results 3% of gas emissions. For lighting Australian household used energy 4% and it caused the greenhouse gas 8% which is double of that the energy they used. Energy used in refrigeration also rise the double of its energy used from 7% to 14% in greenhouse gas emission. Heating can result 15% although it used 42% of energy while other appliances cause 28% of greenhouse gas which is nearly double of the energy used about 15%.
The pie charts represent the average of
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energy
that
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used
household and
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greenhouse
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gas
emissions which cause by the
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energy
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used
in Australia.

Heating and other appliances are
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use
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energy
about 42% and 15%
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but
emission of
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greenhouse
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gas
are 15% and 28%.

Household spent 30% of
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energy
on water heating which is the second largest and it results about 32% of
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greenhouse
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gas
and it
slightly
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increase
2%. Cooling is the smallest amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
power
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only
2% and it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "result"
results
3% of
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gas
emissions.

For lighting Australian household
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used
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energy
4% and it caused the
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greenhouse
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gas
8% which is double of that the
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energy
they
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used
.
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Energy
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used
in refrigeration
also
rise the double of its
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energy
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used
from 7% to 14% in
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greenhouse
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gas
emission. Heating can result 15% although it
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used
42% of
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energy
while other appliances cause 28% of
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greenhouse
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gas
which is
nearly
double of the
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
about 15%.
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IELTS academic The average of energy that used household and greenhouse gas emission the effect of energy used

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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