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The production of cherry jam

The production of cherry jam nEgjn
The diagram demonstrates the stages involved in the production of cherry jam. Overall, there are 9 steps in the process, beginning with cherries being collected and ending with cherry jam being sold in supermarkets. At the beginning of the process, a sheet is spreaded on the ground and the tree is shaked to get the cherries. Next, the crops are transported by a truck to the factory. After being delivered, the cherries are sent into a special machine in order to separate leaves, stems and other extra things from fruits as well. In the next process, the separated cherries is watered, while they are being moved on the ramp. After a while, the cherries are directed by a conveyor in order to remove seeds out of the middle. Before being cooked at high heat, the cherries are mixed with extra ingredients such as: sugar, lemon juice, pectin. . . After that the inspecters are check the quality of the completed jam to ensure the registered product standard. At long last, the jam is put into jars, sticked labels then distributed to other supermarkets.
The diagram demonstrates the stages involved in the production of cherry jam.
Overall
, there are 9 steps in the process, beginning with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
being collected
and ending with cherry jam
being sold
in supermarkets.

At the beginning of the process, a sheet is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spread", the past tense form of the verb 'spread'?
spreaded
on the ground and the tree is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "shook", the past tense form of the verb 'shake'?
shaked
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
.
Next
, the crops
are transported
by a truck to the factory. After
being delivered
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
into a special machine in order to separate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
, stems and other extra things from fruits
as well
. In the
next
process, the separated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
is watered
, while they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
on the ramp. After a while, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are directed
by a conveyor in order to remove seeds out of the middle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
being cooked
at high heat, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are mixed
with extra ingredients such as: sugar, lemon juice, pectin.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspecters
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality of the completed jam to ensure the registered product standard. At long last, the jam
is put
into jars,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "stuck", the past tense form of the verb 'stick'?
sticked
labels then distributed to other supermarkets.
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IELTS academic The production of cherry jam

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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