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The bar illustration/diagram depicts the information about higher studies for part-time and general students in Britain for both genders, classified in three intervals 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91.

The bar illustration/diagram depicts the information about higher studies for part-time and general students in Britain for both genders, classified in three intervals 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91. d9w9d
The bar illustration/diagram depicts the information about higher studies for part-time and general students in Britain for both genders, classified in three intervals 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91. Data is calibrated in number of students in thousand. The prominent feature is persistent growth/decline in female students in general and unconventional style. The figure embellishes that studies in women has raise continuously. Women has developed more interest in education as overcome the number of male students in 1990/91. Women full-time education has also positively elevated from 1990/91 more than twice from 1970/71. Whereas men education stats fall from 1970/71 to 1980/81 and increase slightly in 1990/91. Moreover, full-time education steady improvement from 1970/71 to 1990/91. Only lesser than 200 thousand students were engaged in regular studies in both classes. Figure was crossed in years. Bar chart illustrate upward trend in women partial and complete education. Meanwhile mixed trend in men part-time education and increasing trend in regular education.
The bar illustration/diagram depicts the information about higher studies for part-time and general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Britain for both genders, classified in three intervals 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91. Data
is calibrated
in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
.

The prominent feature is persistent growth/decline in female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in general
and unconventional style.

The figure embellishes that studies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has raise
continuously
.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "woman has".
Women has
developed more interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as overcome the number of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 1990/91.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
also
positively
elevated
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1990 to 91"?
from 1990/91
more than twice
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1970 to 71"?
from 1970/71
.

Whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
stats fall
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1970 to 71"?
from 1970/71
to 1980/81 and increase
slightly
in 1990/91.
Moreover
, full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
steady improvement
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1970 to 71"?
from 1970/71
to 1990/91.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
lesser than 200 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were engaged
in regular studies in both classes. Figure
was crossed
in years.

Bar chart illustrate upward trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
partial and complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
mixed trend in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and increasing trend in regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.

IELTS academic The bar illustration/diagram depicts the information about higher studies for part-time and general students in Britain for both genders, classified in three intervals 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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